She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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