ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You pole danced in your parka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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