i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
