yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
