What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
