i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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