i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I know her cup size but not her name....
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
