can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
