Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Couch. On fire.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
