why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
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She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
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there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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