I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
