dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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