I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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