Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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