He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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