Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
