I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
