She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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