i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
