i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
