I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You're like the curious george of whores
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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