I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
