I need help removing her.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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