How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
