every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
