he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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