redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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