Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
