i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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