dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Randomize
