I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
