I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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