He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
