You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
