I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
