I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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