woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I am available for nakedness
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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