My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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