i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
