Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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