And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
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