The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
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i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
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The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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