i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
