I hate your face
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
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