Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The air was thick with penises
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
