He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
His nipple licking is glorious
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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