She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
