so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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