it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
