I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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