He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
