I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
