I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
