I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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