i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
