i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
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