is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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