All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
What drink are we having for lunch?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
